Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Hot Chelle Rae, Adam Levine, and P-dubs

Here are a few things I thought you might like.
My friend is really into this song called Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae.  You can find it HERE.
If you start humming even a little bit of this song my friend starts dancing and singing.  It's priceless.


(wasn't a big fan of the video so you get the nerdy lyrics version)

This guy has been into Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes featuring one of my favorite's, Adam Levine.  I can't get enough of that guy lately.  You can check it out HERE.  It's a little "yo yo" but very fun in the car.
 

Lastly, you all know my sweet sweet love for P-dubs.  You know, the Pioneer Woman?  If you haven't heard of her-- you must live under a rock.  She has a great blog HERE, an awesome you have to buy it cook book HERE, and now she's on TV HERE!!!!

The other day I was stalking strolling through her site and I came across THIS.  They are called Knock You Naked Brownies.  I am obsessed with carmel so I HAD TO HAVE THEM!  I made them (minus the nuts) yesterday.  I keep sneaking to the fridge to take bites all day long.  I have proclaimed this to be the best thing I've ever baked. 

If you're in my neighborhood, come by for a taste test.  But I'm warning you, they won't be here much longer.  Yum! 

...now if you'll excuse me, I have some brownies to eat.

Monday, September 26, 2011

The perfect baby shower gift

I have four kids.  I consider myself to be some what of a veteran when it comes to babies.  When it comes to baby showers, I always have conflicted ideas as to what I should buy the new mother to be.  Here is a short list of things I have considered.

1.  Duct tape and a leash  (Do you know how many times I've wished for that?)

2.  Sound proof head phones (Have 'um-- better yet, I use 'um.)

3.  Hand sanitizer and bleach (I think this is self explanitory-- eew!)

4.  Shop vac and a steam cleaner (barf, pee, poop-- use your imagination)

5.  GPS locator (and duct tape to stick it to the kids' head)

6.  100 binkies (they run away-- it's a proven fact, I swear)

7.  Doubles of all silky blankets (We had 2-- the first was called woobie and the second was called the fake-out woobie.  It totally worked.)

8.  Extra set of keys  (...make that 2 extra sets-- not that I know anything about that.)

9.  A baseball hat and sunglasses (sometimes morning comes a little too soon for public appearances)

10.  A gift certificate to have yourself cloned.  (Seriously, you need 4 eyes, 4 hands, and two brains to keep up with children.)


Sadly enough I usually go with what's on sale at Target.  Just once I'd like to see the reaction to a few of these. 


What would you give?

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Are you smarter than your kid?

The other day my 6th grader asked for help with her homework.  I was so pleased that she chose me because it's a sense of pride for the mister and I to be asked based on our qualifications.

I'm usually the one who takes all the reading and writing and the mister is anything technical.  That's basically everything else.

So I read the directions and freeze.

It's basic English rules for grammar.  This is something I should be very good at.  Instead I realize that I've been making a horrible mistake-- a LOT!!

I'm scanning in my mind how many times I've made this mistake and mortification sets in.

The basic rule is to put commas between lists connected with and, or, but ect.  In my defense someone with a wide educational back ground informed me that you do not put a comma on the last word before the "connecting" word.

So I've been doing it like this...

I went to the store and bought milk, eggs, bread and cheese.

The rule says you should be doing....

I went to the store and bought milk, eggs, bread, and cheese.

So my sixth grader is officially smarter than me.

The world as I know it is over.


Anybody with me?

Friday, September 23, 2011

Traveling Blues

This week, I'm back in my old life.  I'm loving every minute of it.  But to get here-- that's a different story.

I know I'm a complete baby about the traveling process-- but really, it's painfull.

You start by checking in at the desk.  Why is it that the "desk" is always way higher than you are?  Like they enjoy looking down at you-- having power over you?  Then they ask for your I.D. and stare at it, then you, then it-- I see that smirk!  I know I look a little less than glamorous in my license picture-- OK?  Does anyone look good in their license picture-- really?  Must be the perks of the job to see idiot pictures of every passenger.  I'm sure they have some good stories.

Then they herd you through security and strip you of your dignity by taking your shoes and inspecting your half used chap stick.  No one has pretty feet so everyone is walking around curled toed trying to protect their dirty little secrets.  You know, the stinky feet fungused toed kind of secrets you don't want other people sniffing out.  I could do without it based solely on the fact that I don't want to walk across the floor you just fungused up-- nasty!

When you reach your glorious gate then you have to fight for your seat and then wait for them to call your magic "group" to board.  When your "group" is finally called, you glance side to side and gloat that they have called your number before the sorry sap next to you.  Hey, every man for himself in this process.

All confidence is completely destroyed as you walk down an impossibly thin isle, knocking your elbows into seats and heads along the way feeling like a total ape.  When you reach your seat ready to be done with all of this nonsense you are immediately disappointed because it was clearly sized for a toddler.

Seriously?!?  Do they expect you to sit in a 2 inch space and not have that awkward thigh rub-age with your neighbor?  Then there is the silent war over the arm rest.  If you are crafty and insistent-- it's yours.  I never get the arm rest.  So I'm usually hugging my elbows into my sides creating a huge boob crevasse for every one to enjoy.  Geesh!

If your flight is anything like mine-- get comfy because it's going to be a while.  I'm going to go out on a limb and just say-- seat backs should always be upright!  I always ALWAYS get the person in front of me who puts their seat back.  Like I'm not already in the fetal position with my elbows in and my knees to my chest.  Now I get the pleasure of smelling some strangers hair for the next three hours.  Awesome!


Me and airplanes-- we don't get along. 

How about you?  What do you enjoy about traveling?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Sally's Beauty Supply

I've recently become obsessed with Sally's Beauty Supply.

I love messing with my hair and doing spa-ish things, so it's perfect for me.

Here are a few products I think you'd like.

This is called Gelous.  It's a gel top coat that doesn't need a light to cure.  It gives you the advantage of sealing in any color you have with the longevity of gel nails.  The only down side is the dry time.  It takes a little longer than regular polish but, well worth your wait.

This is called Heel Tastic.  It's like chap stick for your feet.  After a summers worth of flip flops, my heels are pretty dry.  I've used this nightly, along with a pumice stone scrub in the shower every few days.  My heels are looking better than ever.

This polish brand is called China Glaze.  They make quite a few different kinds of polish.  They have matte shades that have no shine, crackle that goes over a color to make it look cracked, and lots of glittery ones.  They cover well and they have some seriously funky shades.

This is fusion hair glue remover.  If you have feathers or extensions this works pretty well and you don't need too much of it at all. 

This is my favorite product of the summer.  This is a top coat for nails called Out the Door.  It makes your color last about a week and it helps your nails dry almost instantly.  It's awesome.  I'd highly recommend it if you have impatient little girls who like to have their nails polished.


Head on out to Sally's and be prepared to gawk for a while.  They have everything a girl could ever want.  Enjoy!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Seriously...


I was helping my kids change their sheets on Saturday and found a little surprise.

I confronted the kid and asked what had happened.

The response was priceless.


"My stuffed animals came alive and peed my bed.  I swear it wasn't me!"

Umm... OK.  I let it past based on pure creativity.

Stuffed animals-- really?  Creepy.


Thursday, September 15, 2011

Marker Fingers and Stolen Cameras


I got out my camera yesterday to take a few pictures and I found this....
The guilty was standing right next to me and yelled to his sister, "What?!!  Hey, you said you erased all of those!"

Yeah, cause clearly she was the one who was at fault here.

This is what you get when you buy your kid new smelly markers and leave him to his own devices.

Lesson learned.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Contagion Review

The mister and I went to see...


OK, I have some germ issues.

This was probably not the best movie for me to see. 

But, that made me want to see it more.  Weird.  Yes, I know.

The basic plot of the movie is nasty germs, they spread quick, people freak out and do weird things, and lots of people die. Totally the feel good movie of the year.


I left the theater not wanting to touch anything ever again.  I think I am going to try to live the rest of my life in a bubble. 

But bubble life would be complicated.  How do you pee?

OK, forget the bubble.  I'll just take up hand washing as an Olympic sport.  Yeah, that could work.

If you don't get a chance to see it in the theater-- not to worry.  This is a solid rental. 

....now if you'd excuse me, I have to go wash my hands.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Buckyballs

I have discovered a new highly addicting toy.

Buckyballs!


Yeah, the name is a little creepy until you see the toy.

It's a bunch of magnetic balls that are super fun to shape and play with.  I got a set for the kids for church and I ended up playing with them.  So, I went back to the store and bought a few more sets.  Now we have them in three colors and my kids have never been quieter in church.  Priceless!

You can check them out HERE.  They are also on amazon and a few unique toy shops like The Red Balloon in Sandy, UT.

You'll be addicted after 30 seconds for sure.  I think I'm going to get the cubes next.  So fun!!

Monday, September 12, 2011

10 things I've hidden from you

We all have dirty little secrets. 

It's a fact.

Stop denying it.  We both know it's true.

Wanna know some of mine?

Sure you do.  It's always easier going through someone else's issues-- isn't it?

1.  When company comes over.  I shove things in random places and hope that no one tries to open any cupboards.  The other day I shoved my butter plate away and turned on the indirect lighting.... let your mind wonder.  Yep, melted nasty butter all over my cupboard innards.  Could have done without that.

2.  I hardly (never) clean my blinds.  I can't get the dust to come off.  So I officially give up.

3.  I hide stuff in my fridge.  If it's something I know I should eat but really don't want to, it goes to the back.  I leave it there until the expiration date is bad and then I'm forced to throw it out.  I think, "Darn, I have to throw you out because the label says so-- but I totally would have eaten you..."  It makes me and the food feel better when we part ways.

4.  The mister and I have a silent war going.  If I find something around the house that I don't want to find a place for, I chuck it in the storage room.  The storage room is officially the mister's area.  That means that when it's all exploded and messy, it's automatically his fault.  Perfect.

5.  I always look at my Q-tips and wonder how that much crap can come out of a person's ears.  It makes me happy when I have a double Q-tip day. 

6.  Picking zits is fun.  It just is.

7.  I like walking around the house in my underwear.  Now that we live in a neighborhood, that's becoming more of a challenge.  If you are my neighbor and you've seen too much-- sorry about that.  But not too sorry because it's probably not going to stop.

8.  I avoid the back seats of our van.  When I clean out the car I freak out and call the mister in to look at the monstrosity that is our van.  But on a daily basis, I pretend that I don't know that there are science experiments growing in the back seat.

9.  I throw away my bread heals.  It drives my dad insane.  But I don't like the heal and you can't make me eat it.

10.  I have four garbage cans.  I throw stuff away.  I'm not sure what the rest of you are doing or where your trash is going.  The people with one can-- how is that even possible?  Yet it is, because I'm the only one in the entire neighborhood with four cans.  I'm sure people call us the "four can" house. 

Well, now that I have that off my chest...

How about you?

What's your dirty little secret?

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Naughty Words are NAUGHTY



One of my kids came home from school completely mad at me the other day.

Me:  What's the problem?

Kid:  You never tell me anything!!

Me:  Um... OK, like what?

Kid:  Like, naughty words!

Me:  So you want me to list all of the naughty words to you?

Kid:  No!  That would be wrong!

Me:  So what are you looking for here?

Kid:  Well, all the kids at school tell jokes and I don't get 'um.  They like to tell me because I don't know what they are talking about and it makes them all laugh.

Me:  So, you want me to tell you dirty jokes or what?

Kid:  No!  I just want to know what they are talking about and not have to have everything explained to me.

Me:  What kind of jokes are they telling?

Kid:  They tell me to say Idaho.  What does that even mean?

Me:  (thinking really hard as to how Idaho could be nasty)  Oh, got it.  I-da-ho!  Get it... I'm the ho?

Kid:  Um, yeah, still not getting it.

Me:  A ho is a girl who has sex with lots of boys.  Same as skank, slut... yucky girls.

Kid:  (completely mortified that I used naughty words)  You know what they say in church?  They say if you don't tell me stuff like this, kids at school will.  So I can learn it from you or I can learn it from kids at school.  I'M LEARNING IT FROM KIDS AT SCHOOL MOM!

Me:  Um... I'm still confused.  Do you want the dirty words list?

Kid:  No!  Mooooom!



So, where am I suppose to go with this one?   

I'm Back

I've been thinking about you.

Not in a weird crazy stalker kind of way...

It's just-- I miss you.  OK?!


Don't worry.  It wasn't you.  It was me.


Life kicked me in the butt.

It's taken me a while to get back on my feet.

I'll give you a hint. 

We no longer live here...

We live here now...

Thanks for waiting.

I think we can be friends again.
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